Copyright © 2007 by Robert Woeger.
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Publisher: Robert Woeger
May this Christian writing on when to say 'No' stir you to a
closer walk with the Lord.
"But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay..." Matthew 5:37.
All Scripture references in this writing are from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
U.S. Copyright Office Registration Number TX0006612973. Registered on 08/08/2007.
Let Your 'Yes' Be 'Yes', And Your 'No' Be 'No'
"But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." Matthew 5:37.
The principle stated above in Matthew 5:37 is "let your yes be yes, and your no be no." Do not swear by anything in the earth or in Heaven (Matthew 5:33-36). Your words shall be you bond. "If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth." (Numbers 30:2).
Obviously, God takes every word that proceeds out of our mouths seriously. If we make a vow, or speak a blessing or a curse, each word is important. That is why we are to not engage in idle words or gossip! If we really are who we claim to be, as Christians, then every word and action should be a confession of our faith or otherwise serve to glorify God. Our words should be uplifting, wholesome, and pure. God takes His Word seriously, "But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4, references Deuteronomy 8:3). He also takes our words seriously, and we must strive, with His help, to keep our hearts, minds and mouth pure and holy. For, "...that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man." (Matthew 15:11).
If you make a promise to God or man, you should expect to keep it, no matter what the cost. Bad choices and bad promises may come back to where you regret making them, but do all you can to satisfy your debts and promises. The way you keep your commitments is a testimony about your Christian walk. In all the promises you make, you are acting as a steward of the time, talents, and possessions that God has trusted you with. Nothing actually belongs to you, it all belongs to God. You either show good stewardship, or bad, by how you act and live your life. Your life is on display for others to observe your witness and testimony.
If you commit some of your time or resources in a bond or agreement to another, to fulfill in the future, you must honor your words of commitment. But know that when you commit to do or pay something, you are a debtor to that person or thing you committed yourself to, "The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." (Proverbs 22:7). It is better to not make vows, unless you know you can repay them.
"When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay." Ecclesiastes 5:4-5.
"He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?" Luke 16:10-12.
Instead of vows where we permit ourselves to be indebted to others, let our 'yes' be 'yes' and our 'no' be 'no'. Count the cost and pray before you agree to anything. The last thing you want to do is obligate yourself to being someone's servant for the next 30 years, or longer, to pay off a debt or obligation. You will wake up some day and regret the decision you made, but the weight of the burden will be like a noose around your neck that binds you and weighs you down. It is important to learn to say 'no', when appropriate.
The Debt Sellers
"Easy money," "No credit check," "Borrow against your home," and "Get Cash Fast" are examples of some of the catch-phrases that debt sellers often like to use. When you see an offer that "looks to good to be true," run the other way! "No payments for 6 months" may sound tempting, and so might "No interest for a year." But actually, these are all ploys to get you to give up something precious, your freedom.
The sellers of debt want to tie you up in a bondage agreement that may be very hard, or next to impossible, for you to free yourself from. They want to siphon off some of the "best years" of your life. They want you to work for them, and pay out your hard earned wages at a high interest rate, and perhaps many layers of fees, before they will release you from the bondage of the debt you agreed to be under.
High interest rates stifle growth and productivity. In the Holy Bible, it is called usury to charge interest to your fellow man. The Bible in Proverbs 22:7 says that "...the borrower is servant to the lender." I don't know about you, but I don't want to be the servant of, or indebted to, any man. God wants me to be free, and to serve only Him. "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." (John 8:36). "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law." (Romans 13:8).
We are to lend, without charging interest, to our fellow man in need, as led by the Lord, but we should not borrow. "For the LORD thy God blesseth thee, as he promised thee: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, but thou shalt not borrow; and thou shalt reign over many nations, but they shall not reign over thee. If there be among you a poor man of one of thy brethren within any of thy gates in thy land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not harden thine heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor brother: But thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt surely lend him sufficient for his need, in that which he wanteth." (Deuteronomy 15:6-8). "The LORD shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thine hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow." (Deuteronomy 28:12).
The principle of "lend, but not borrow" is important for every Christian to get a grasp on. We are called to be the head and not the tail. The borrower is servant to the lender. The next time you even think about taking one of the sellers of debt up on one of their offers, read the fine print, and then visualize the ramifications of you taking the debt on your life, in terms of the amount of bondage you are agreeing to.
We, as a people, are regularly selling ourself into bondage (like a type of slavery) each time we go into debt over something. If the enemy of our souls, the devil, can't outright kill you, then he wants to make you as ineffective as possible in this life for advancing the Kingdom Of God. Do you know how many people have allowed themselves to be legally robbed of their time, talents, and energy, by signing up for a certain period of time to be a modern kind of indentured servant to the debt sellers? Consider all the wasted years, and lost productivity for God, that has been stolen from us as Christians over the years. How many souls could have been evangelized by the fruits of our labor, instead of giving rich men, and companies, more riches?
The proper advancement of God's perfect will for our lives has been partially paralyzed by all the debt we have allowed ourselves to take on. We need, with God's help, to break free from the shackles of debt, so that we may be the proper conduit for advancing God's Kingdom and plan for mankind here on the earth. We should better support Christian workers who are laboring in the harvest fields.
The Importance of 'No'
We all need to say "no" sometimes. There are many greedy people, time wasters, and those who would generally like to use or take advantage of us. We need to stop them "cold in their tracks" by saying "No!"
Con artists and many others know that some people have a hard time "saying no," and they play on that fact to their advantage. Sales people and marketers love to get you, either on the phone or in person, in a position where you are uncomfortable "saying no" to them. They will try and persuade you to buy their product or services by using subtle or overt intimidation tactics. Many people fall for this "art of persuasion."
People who want to borrow money from you, usually tell you their "hard luck" story, and try to move on your emotions to give, before you can pray and actually determine if it is God's will for you to give, or not. Then you "kick yourself" afterwards about why you gave them money. True giving is birthed in love, and will not feel forced. In fact, goodwill giving is usually very pleasurable, and leaves no aftertaste of regret.
Your time is precious, and no one in their right mind should want to willingly be taken advantage of. That is why we all need to be masters of the use of the word "NO." This one small word can change destinies of people and nations. Learn, with God's help, to master the proper use of this important word: "no."
The use of "no" will shut down your adversaries, get rid of undesirable people in your life, and give you such freedom to live a healthy, productive life for God. There is nothing wrong with saying "no," when used timely and properly. In fact, permitting things to happen, and not saying "no," can do a lot more damage.
God even instructs us to use the meaning of "no" when we deal with the devil. We are to "...Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7). Resisting is telling the devil "NO!" -- No to sin, no to evil, no to temptations, and no to allowing him in your presence. Tell the devil "No," and watch things start to change for the better in your lives. Use "No" to shut down the attacks of the enemy against you. Take away all permission you formerly gave him to torment, attack, and use you. Close all open doors to your mind that the devil may use to try to implant thoughts. Refuse to accept his thoughts, and seek God's thoughts instead. Resist the devil and he must flee is an example of where we are to exercise control (aka exorcism) over the devil and his demons to get rid of them. We should not fear saying no to evil, in whatever form it takes.
Start to practice "saying no" to the devil, all evil things, and all people who might not desire God's best for your life. Find out who is looking out for you. Also, find out who is looking out for themselves, and stay away from them. Tell them "no" and mean it. Don't be a sucker to be used by them ever again.
The proper use of "no" will set you free in many areas of your life. Start living again, without any fear of rejection or abandonment by others. If people reject you, that is their loss! Be around people who appreciate you and enjoy your company, and who don't use or take advantage of your time, talents, energy and money.
Say no to greedy people, the devil, debt sellers, people who would use or take advantage of you, and time wasters. The benefits of saying "no" far outweigh the snare of saying "yes" which would allow the wrong things or people to have control over your life. For whatever you allow, God has to allow, as your words are powerful and binding. You have "free will" and you must learn to exercise it properly and in a godly way. "...Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth." (Romans 14:22).
The Benefits And Power Of 'No'
Since we are creatures of habit to some degree, it may be hard for us to say "no" to others at times. People need to realize that we don't always have to say "yes" to please them. In fact, "saying no" can be a kind and loving thing, when done at a right time. The truth often hurts, when people aren't used to hearing truth and honesty. Be known for being a "teller of truth," and some people will respect you for telling the truth, while others may not want to be around you, because they are uncomfortable with truth, and are trying to hide in their lies and deceptions. Stand for truth, honesty, and God's righteousness, and watch evil flee before you.
Saying "no" at the right times will free you from being in bondage to any man, woman, or evil thing. Be known for your "yes" meaning "yes," and your "no" meaning "no." When you are known for saying what you mean, you must also follow through on your words, or you will become known as being powerless to your own words.
Have you ever seen a parent telling a child "no," then when the child disobeys, there is no punishment for violating the "no" instruction? If the parent doesn't impose consequences for the child's violation of the "no" instruction, the child won't respect the parent in the future when they say "no." Always give your "no" full force and meaning, by quickly following through on instituting consequences for disobedience of your "no" by others. People will respect your "no," if they know that you will enforce it in a swift and proper manner.
If you have an employee that you supervise, and you tell him "no" to something, and he does it anyway, don't let him get away with it. Expose his action, and place consequences on his disobedient action. Just like God did when Satan disobeyed Him, you can not tolerate rebellion or disobedience from others who remain in your presence. Disrespect for your wishes, tells you that the person doesn't care to respect you. Have nothing to do with them once they have showed their lack of respect and disloyalty to you. Surround yourself with people who appreciate and respect both you and your giftings from God.
Saying "no" may shock some people at times, but stand your ground, and do not let people intimidate you. You are not here on this earth to please people, but rather to please God. He tells us to say either yes or no, as appropriate, in our conduct with others, so as to please Him and do His will. While we are to treat others as we would want to be treated, that doesn't mean we shouldn't tell others "no." Sometimes we all need to be told "no." Even God sometimes answers our prayers with "no," for only He alone knows what is best for us.
There is a freedom that comes with saying "no" that is hard to describe. It is liberating and powerful. Once you have mastered the ability to give yourself permission to say "no" to yourself and others, you will find it to be a new type of freedom. Do your best to make right decisions that always give honor to and please God.
Take the time and talents that God has given you, that would otherwise have been wasted by others, and pursue the things God has for you to accomplish and discover in this life. Use "no" to free yourself from people, enemies, debt sellers, and others, who would otherwise steal from you or waste your precious time.
May you walk in a new level of the freedom and liberty in Christ you have not walked in before!Remember, "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." (John 8:36).